A comment on my last post from a reader got me thinking about fear; that four letter word that few want to talk about. So I decided to talk about it.

Fear is one of those things that we are ready to admit to having if it is a socially accepted fear, such as a fear of spiders or growing old.  A real, potentially life-threatening fear, such as having your house broken into, or coming face to face with a bear on a secluded trail is also OK to discuss.

But those kinds of fear, which may be life-impacting in their own way, are not the fears I am talking about. I’m talking about the little insidious fears we all have, that we may not even know we have. For example, fear of buying something you really like because you are worried your friends might laugh so you think “it’s not me”. Fear of doing something you really want to do because your friends or family will think you’re crazy. What about limiting yourself at work because you’re worried your coworkers would accuse you of brown-nosing. There is always going to be someone who is critical of your choices. But it shouldn’t be you.

How to Deal

Recognize fear when it comes. Examine its roots. Is it your fear or did you inherit it? Greet it out loud and then dismiss it. It is not welcome. You must act immediately though or it will seep into your mind where it will carry on never-ending conversations with the voices in your head. Then you are done for!

Fear does nothing positive. Again, I’m talking about the manufactured social fears, not the fear that is healthy and may keep you from physical harm. So try doing something you are afraid of. Put yourself into the universe.

Here’s the thing. You have to task a risk. And barring any very unfortunate accidents and illegal activity, no one is going to die, especially you. Let this be a call to find your inner courage to be the you who you already be. Fear is a choice. Don’t choose it.



Getting rid of your fears not only makes you more authentic, it makes you more confident, and nothing is as sexy as confidence!

So many of us go through life thinking how cool it would be if only we were taller, better looking, had more money, were more confident, were in better shape, were more popular, were more successful, etc. etc. etc. ad infinitum.

But the truth is that as soon as you get something you think you want, that you think will be the answer to that hole you are trying to fill, you will want something else. Why? Because the hole cant be filled with something outside of yourself. So, instead of seeking to be some way that you are not, just relax and be happy that you are you.

See yourself as you truly are, not as you want to be seen. Don't let others have the power to define you. Know that you belong here. You belong to the universe. You are here for a reason even if you don’t know what it is. You are an integral part of the process of the universe. You answer to no one but the universal consciousness.

No one else walks the earth with your perspective or experience. You add value in whatever you do, and wherever you go.  Therefore be you. You are unique, and you are special.

Do not feign emotion or actions that you do not feel or are not you. Do not fool yourself or others. Know yourself. Put your true self into the world.

Know your archetypes. Be true to them no matter what. Your archetypes are a gift. They help define who you are. Do not squelch them, do not bury them. Celebrate them. Understand their strengths and weaknesses. Guard against the weaknesses but otherwise honor and nurture yourself.

"Power is the free and total expression of spirit through a particular form or personality." – unknown.

 You are that power!

Ever notice how distracted you can get when you are simply going about your day?  An email here, an enticing website there, a coworker who starts a conversation about her weekend. Nearly anything can take you off course and then before you know it 2 hours are gone. What were you working on? Where did the time go?  It’s happened to all of us. And it can seriously interfere with your productivity at work and at home. 

I like to think of it as a by-product of this hi-tech, instant-gratification, sound-byte world we live in. But I am guessing that it has plagued people for a lot longer than that. So few of us are taught how to focus our attention on the things we really find important, and then stay focused until we reach our goal. Oh sure there are time management methodologies can help to a certain extent, by teaching you how to distinguish between what is important and what is urgent. These methodologies can work if you….wait for it….focus on using them correctly. Oh come on you knew that was coming! 

A simple time management tool might have you do the following:

• List what needs to get done, and when it needs to happen.
• Decide its importance.
• Make a to-do list that ranks your tasks in order of importance.
• Work through the list until you are done.

Simple right? Well. Um. No.

Let’s look at it from a different perspective. I call this a Buddhist perspective because that is where I learned it, and one thing that Buddhism has taught me is to notice things first, really become aware of what is actually happening and why, and then make a change if change is indeed warranted.

Who is in control?

Another way to look at your attention or your focus is to ask yourself who is in control? Do you let yourself get hijacked by way of email, walk-ups, easily being bored with the task at hand? Then you are not in control of your own attention.

The question is how do you regain control and start focusing on what’s important. It’s helpful to recognize that the wandering of our attention is an event that not only do we have control over but actually requires us to make a choice. Most of us simply don’t recognize that choice and so we get easily distracted. It’s a very simple process once that once you learn you can employ whenever you need to.

Step 1 – The first thing to do is simply recognize when you have lost your focus. If it’s been several minutes before you realize you are off track, then look back at the last little while until you come to the culprit. Maybe the email icon (or sound) flashed on your screen. Turn those off, by the way. Perhaps you overheard a snippet of a conversation that reminded you of <fill in the blank> which caused you to <fill in the blank again>. Whatever it was, notice it.  Write it down, ideally with the length of time you were distracted, then go back to your task at hand.

That’s it, just notice it and write it down. After a week or two of doing this you should see some patterns and you may even be shocked by how much time was spent doing unimportant time-filler activities.

Step 2 – Once you are good at recognizing how you are losing your focus, then you can concentrate on the moment of decision. This is where you make the conscious active decision to stay on track or go off track. If you decide that going off-task is the thing to do right now, then fine do it, as long as it is a conscious decision, and not an unconscious one.   Continue to keep track of when you are going off-task only this time record why.

Step 3 – After a week or so of doing this you should see a change in pattern. You should notice less time-filler activities and more things accomplished. Most importantly you should be feeling better about being in control of your attention rather than it being in control of you. 

Note that if you are making a lot of conscious decisions to go off-track and have valid reasons for doing so, then maybe it’s time to re-evaluate your task-list or priorities. Perhaps get your manager involved in the conversation or your significant other.

I’d love to know if this helps anyone. Leave me a comment.

The following is NOT an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term. It is a hoax, and an urban legend. However it is humorous and begs the question...is there a hell? Note that I dont know where this originated (although I'm sure snopes does http://www.snopes.com/)  so I dont know to whom credit (if any) should be given....However read on, have a good chuckle and then ponder....hell or no hell....you decide.

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

So, according to this apparently very bright chemistry student there is no hell.

Agree or disagree?)